It's actually a poly blend...

A colleague and I were discussing being on site at client for the first time and I mentioned that I will wear a suit and tie as she normally wears a suit. I said that I need to justify owning suits as I don't wear them very much. She said come to the dark side with me, meaning wear them often. I automatically thought of this commercial!

Oh, I am working this!

Boniva Break

SNL is making a come back. The toast to Sally Field is AWESOME!!!! Kiki and Jadon. Together Forever!!

On the Same Page...

I saw this on the same page as the Boom-di-ada link. I normally look at Youtube for comedy, but found this link very interesting. I will definitely have to study his comments before I can draw conclusions. Its kinda long so you might not be able to watch at work and really draw anything. Thoughts? Comments?




Oh, here is the link he references: http://www.eternal-productions.org/101science.html

Boom-di-ada, Boom-di-ada, Boom-di-ada, Boom-di-ada...

For those of you who sang this during music class in grade school enjoy... oh yeah, and good luck getting it out of your head...

Tag... I'm it?

Ok, so my friend the Tree Hugger (who is NOT preggers) asked me to participate in a sort of social experiment. So here we go:

Rules for the game: (1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB. Just kidding)

1. Put these rules at the beginning of your post.
2. Answer each question (see below) in your post.
3. Tag five people at the end.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was in college probably sleeping off a night of drunkenness. What a waste of life.

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
There is a GREAT line from Office Space regarding this question, but it would no doubt fall flat in print so here is my list.
1.Tithe
2.Give most of it away.
3.Pay off my mortgage.
4.Secure my family's future. (Retirement funds, Future kid's college funds (and no we are not preggers).
5. Quit working

Five jobs that I have had:
1.Consultant
2.Consultant
3.Tech Support
4.Intern
5.Event Coordinator

Three of my habits:
1.Listening to Mike and Mike in the Morning
2.Cracking my knuckles
3. Checking my Crackberry (pray you never get one)

Five places I have lived
1.Austin, TX
2.College Station, TX
3.Houston, TX
4.Dallas, TX
5.Irving, TX

Five people I want to get to know better.
1. The Travel Size One
2. Toddatello Ingabogovinanana
3. D-Lux
4. Palomita
5. Dubya

Rack'em,
The Traveler

A whirlwind of a trip!

Well, today, is our last day in the New York. The only words I can use to describe this week are "HOLY CRAP"! We arrived here last Sunday and it has been quite a week. I think we actually LOST weight on this trip because we walked so much. I may actually have to sit down and do a blog per day to go into all the details but here's the gist of the trip:

• Greenwich Village Food Tour
• One if by land, two if by sea
• Wicked (UNBELIEVABLE!!!!)
• Shopping, Shopping, Shopping (sorry girls I'm taken)
• 6 different places for Pizza
• Empire State Building (RIP OFF!)

The Travel Size One is now laying on the bed in a quasi-coma-like state trying to recover before we have to depart.

Rack'em,

The Traveler

One of the Funniest things I have seen in a long time...

For those of you who have seen the Chuck Norris "Facts", You'll appreciate this email I got from my buddy.

Go to GOOGLE.com and in the search bar type "Find Chuck Norris" and instead of hitting search, choose the I'M FEELING LUCKY button.

AWESOME!!!

WAR KITTENS!!!

For those who haven't seen it this commercial cracks me up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yosTIwbFjzM

I have WAR KITTENS!!! as my status on one of my IM's. This buddy of mine sent me this picture with the message "WAR KITTENS!!!" appended.

No, Cute fuzzy kittens. You know baby cats?

Rack'em,

The Traveler

A Trip to Lowe's

The Travel Size One was studying for Step 3 last night and her brain was essentially fried so we took a little break. At her suggestion we went to Lowe's. Now fella's let me caveat here and tell you that there is nothing sexier than a woman who not only likes to shop at Lowe's or Fry's but recommends it. I actually think it is every man's dream (despite what they say).

So we get in the car and I immediately notice it. I think to myself, does she notice it? We don't even get out of the drive way and the Travel Size One says, "It smells like a fart in here". To which I reply, "it sure does". Of course she looks at me. I rebuke her immediately and proclaim my innocence. Thing is, it wasn't a fresh one. It smelled like a fart was hiding out in the back seat and popped up for the occasion. She looks at me and says, "You were the last one in here". To which I respond, "You're right, but that was 2 hours ago, and I am pretty sure IF it had been me it would have dissipated by now". I mean the physics of the whole situation was mind boggling. NO WAY a fart hangs around that long (guys back me up here). She is absolutely convinced that it was me. So I continue to plead my case by proclaiming, "Honey, I didn't wipe my butt on the floor mat, and besides if it had been me I would have claimed it."

To be honest, it was impressive. I really think there was something that got stuck in the air. I honestly don't think I am that good. I mean two hours!! To be that potent it would have taken the leather off the seat upon initial disbursement.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Rack'em,
The Traveler

Cha Ching!!

Ok, That was a quick fast. I feel better and yes it was a shameless ploy for some Comment-lovin'. But I wanted to pass this along to my audience (all four of you).

http://www.window.state.tx.us/up/

I didn't some searching and the Travel Size One and I got bupkis, but I found where my uncle is owed like four hundy... I sent the link to his 17 year old son with instructions to show his dad and ask for a percentage based on finders fee and following through with the unclaimed property. I figure that'll get him 50%. Knowing my uncle, he'll take the rest and put it in a savings account for the rest of his life :)

Rack'em,
The Traveler

Blog Strike

Ok, I am going on a blog strike. It's kinda like a hunger strike only I really don't suffer. Why you ask? I have posted 7 blogs without a single comment from ANYONE! Heck even anonymous hasn't reared his/her ugly head to tell me what a moron I am. I must receive comments or the player's union will not budge. So in the words of Temple of the Dog:

I don't mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadence
But I can't feed on the powerless
When my cups already overfilled
But its on the table
The fire is cooking
And they're farming babies
While the slaves are working
The blood is on the table
And their mouths are choking
But I'm (not Blogging)

Rack'em,
The Traveler

Viva La Resistance! (No idea why I added this, but it sounded cool at the time)

She's Feisty

The Travel Size One is on a Child Abuse rotation this month. This was her response to my "How's your day going?" text message, "Not bad... Just got to go to court. I think the bastard will go to jail". She's fired up and feisty!

Drunk In Public

This is a first. I was in an airport on Thursday night last week waiting on my flight (delayed again). I am just sitting there minding my own business when I see this guy reach over like he was going pick up a bag. The only thing is that he kept on reaching and reaching and reaching. It hits me. This guy is falling... Quick thinking! He's having a diabetic episode or a heart attack! So I leap up to help him thinking, "CALL 911, or 411, or 311 if you need parks and recreation" (Ok, I made those last two up). I help him come out of his offensive lineman-esque stance only to have him start to topple AGAIN! I finally escort him over to the chair where I was sitting, casually wondering why the heck isn't someone helping me. I then look back to see someone (who'd later turn out to be an acquaintance, pulling on his belt, more on this jerk in a minute). As I sit him down a lady walks up and says, "I am a doctor, are you ok"? The guy starts to slur his speech a little to which I immediately assume, "Diabetic, Low blood sugar". The doctor examines him for all of 30 seconds before she says, "Had a little fun today have you?"

I swear his response was almost like that scene from the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy where the old drunk that knows Sonny (Sandler) from the bar starts taunting him in the court room from the witness stand. Sonny asks him, "What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy?". The drunk responds, "Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?"

Only thing is, this guy was not that intelligible. My sympathy goes out the door. QUICK!

This guy is probably late forties, early to mid fifties and he is drunker than a 19 year old on Spring break. It wasn't like he was boisterous, obnoxious, loud and carousing drunk. No! This guy had drunk himself into a catatonic-like stupor that was nothing but pathetic.

The doctor immediately tells him (as if the did any good) and his friend that he better get some food in him or they will not let him on the plane. I move off to the side with one of my consultants to mock from a far. Let's be honest, this is unintentional comedy that can't be measured on a chart. All the jokes are flying from on lookers. "I hope thats not our pilot". "Wow I didn't know Ed Asner was on this flight." "I will end up sitting next to this guy with my luck." There were some pretty good ones. This basically went on for 45 minutes to an hour. In the mean time, his friend gets him a sandwich and bottle of water from a nearby deli only to have him pull the bottle away from his mouth with out up righting it effectively pooring it all over himself.

They finally call our flight to board and I look around to see if they are going to let Amy Winehouse's brother get on our plane. As I am starting to board, I see the doctor walk up to the gate agent and undoubtly tell that the guy is "45 sheets" and shouldn't be allowed on the plane. To which I mention to some of the other witnesses boarding that I don't think he'll be getting on this plane. The doctor just ratted him out (good for her).

I arrive at my seat and get comfortable only to see Keith Richards board the plane. I think I actually said out loud, "They are really going to let that loser get on the plane?". Sure enough. This guy comes along doing his best "Ted 'Sammy Sooser' Kennedy I'm really not drunk" impersonation and plops down next to this poor lady who had the misfortune of having the window seat next to him. I was not close enough to get all the details of this meeting, but my buddy was and he said he felt for this poor lady. I am thinking this guy is going to get sick on the plane and EVERYONE else is going to follow suit.

About this time, I see the doctor from before sitting 3 rows behind him ring her call button. The flight attendant walks up and she undoubtedly tells him that "Arthur On the Rocks" is in no condition to travel. Apparently the gate agent was blind. So he walks up to Cooter Brown to ask him if he is ok. You could tell the Flight Attendant was not ok with it but he walks away. Minutes later, you see the lady sitting next Ernest Hemingway ring the flight attendant call button. This does it! The flight attendant gives the "follow me" motion. Might I also add that you could hear a pin drop at this point as everyone is staring intently at the fiasco unfolding. At this point Richard Burton, gets up and ever so gingerly ambles to the front of the plane. He only pauses for a moment to pray to the porcelain god in the First class head (swear on my life). After a minute or two the flight attendant opens the door and says ,"Come on out". While this is all going on, his "friend" is gathering his things along with the contents Lindsay Lohan brought on the plane and walking to the front. My main issue with this jerk is that he helped this guy get on the plane and then had the gall not to offer to switch seats with this poor lady.

As they get off the plane, I realize I am sitting around some good ol' boys (you gotta know your audience) to which I quip, "I guess that is the definition of Drunk in Public". It got a good laugh.

ZIP IT DODA

This morning on the way to the client I notice a vanity plate that says "ZPT DODA". So I point it out to one of my consultants and think about what it is saying. He states in a very matter-of-fact manner, "Zip it, Doda". I respond with, "I think it says zippidity doo-daa". To which he replies "Oh yeah". From now on though when I hear that song, it will be "ZIP IT DODA". Such a glamorous life it is consulting.

Fukudome

What an unfortunate name... Supposedly he is the new Japanese sensation now playing for the Chicago Cubs. I can never take him seriously though... not with a name like Fukudome.

Rack'em,
The Traveler

Snowball

I figured out that I need a new buddy named Snowball. In the airport yesterday while waiting on a flight, my buddy and I were watching the upgrade list scroll through the list of poor schmucks who are just on the outside looking in. Anyone who has ever travelled for a living knows this list. Your comfort level lives and dies by this list. Even your sanity can live and die by this list depending if it is Spring Break or not. I finally see my name... 13th on the list. Oh yeah and there are only 2 available seats. So my buddy looks at me and says, "Well looks like you'll be sitting in the back with Snowball". I respond, "Snowball?" He says, "yeah, you know you have just a little bit better chance of getting upgraded than a snowballs chance in hell". To which I immediately reply, "You are absolutely right! I need a buddy named Snowball!" To which he responds, "Yeah, then you'd never be dead last. You'd always have Snowball who'd be in worse shape." So there you go.

Rack'em,
The Traveler