I want my two dollars

I received this email yesterday.

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Dear The Traveler,

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT FOR THE TWENTIETH JUDICIAL CIRCUITST. CLAIR COUNTY, ILLINOIS

THOMAS L. MAULDING, individually and on behalf of all others similarly situated,
Plaintiff,
v.HILTON HOTELS CORPORATION,
Defendant.
No. 02-L-0645

SHORT-FORM E-MAIL NOTICE OF PROPOSED CLASS ACTION SETTLEMENT

Maulding v. Hilton Hotels Corporation is a nationwide class action lawsuit filed in the Circuit Court of St. Clair County, Illinois, challenging resort fees charged by eleven Hilton Resort Hotels prior to January 1, 2004. The resort fees consisted of bundled per-night charges for resort services and amenities charged in addition to the per-night room rate. The following hotels (hereinafter referred to as the "Participating Hotels") are participating in the settlement...

Members of the class include all persons who stayed at a Participating Hotel prior to January 1, 2004, paid a resort fee, and either did not receive notice that the resort fee was being charged, or believe they were misinformed about the resort fee. Excluded from the class are persons who stayed at a Participating Hotel pursuant to a written group contract, persons residing in Mississippi or Montana, and all current and former employees of Hilton Hotels Corporation.

After several years of litigation, the parties in the case have reached a Settlement Agreement.

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So here's the deal.
First, off I didn't stay in any of the hotels listed in the suit so I am not sure why I got the email.

Second, most of the time I never look at the charges associated with a room, I just charge it in and forget about it.

Third of all, those charges are typically no more than 2 or 3 bucks per night so the cost of making the phone call to a hotline they gave me would actually cost me more money (time and effort) than I would earn.

Fourth, this is pathetic. I mean some lawyer had the thought they are overcharging everybody and then had the audacity to sue them. This is one of those cases where the lawyers are really going to be the only winner. Unless we do some Traveler Math.

Let's say I stayed at one of the hotels for four nights

• $2.00 X 4 = $8.00

It was prior to January 1, 2004 so that would be 2.5 years ago compound that monthly at a meager 8%:

• Excel = $261.45

Punitive Damages: $5,000,000

• $261.45 + $5,000,000 = $5,000,261.45

Lost wages: $10,000,000

• $5,000,261.45 + $10,000,000 = $15,000,261.45

Pain and Suffering: $25,000,000

• $15,000,261.45 + $25,000,000 = $40,000,261.45

Attorney's Fees: $40,000,261.45

$40,000,261.45 + $40,000,261.45 = $80,000,522.90

And there you have it. I figure Hilton Hotels owes me approximately $80,000,522.90. Let's be realistic, I will settle out of court right now for $80,000,000. Isn't America great!