I almost died this morning...

Actually, I didn't even get injured.

Alright... I was not even in harms way.

Ok! I was frightened and almost soiled myself!

So I was out for a jog this morning and I was on my normal route that I run when I am going 8 miles. If you are not familiar with The City, there are good parts and bad parts (just like any other city I suppose). I live in one of the good parts and have seldom been scared or gun shy when running at 5:00 AM. Along my routes (there are several because they are different distances and it gets boring running the same thing over and over) there are bus stops for the Metro Bus that transfers people from point A to point B all over The City. This morning I was running past one of the bus stops that I pass every time I run this route. When all of a sudden from out of no where this dark wraith appears ready to assail me and send me to meet my maker (actually he was a dark skinned African-American gentleman wearing a nice jacket and tie who smiled at me brightly, but I didn't see him at first and he scared me). I battled him off using all of my cunning and continued my run (I ran off feeling pretty stupid).

As I continued my jaunt in the wee hours of the morning, I came across the second assailant. He attempted to take me out with a flying body throw but I was able to dodge his flailing mass with my cat-like reflexes. Ok reality check. It was another runner and I was in "My World" pondering God knows what when I almost ran into him. I didn't see him at first, and I was running on the wrong side of the track unless you are James Bond when all of a sudden I realize there is a person coming at me. I quickly side step barely missing him and apologizing at the same time (I multitask too).

My third attacker used the Screeching Howl of Death in an attempt to overcome me. My sub-sonic speed kicked in and I was able to out run the sound waves before succumbing to them. In reality this van was turning into a parking lot where I was running on the side walk. He was apparently miffed at the fact that he actually had to slow down and wait for a pedestrian to cross a sidewalk in a manner according to the law. So as I continue my run he yells out of his window "Hey!!" in a startling manner trying to scare me. Well it work! I have actually had people do that to me before. I can't believe people actually get their kicks by scaring runners. This must be some kind of redneck sport. Maybe it will be in the Olympics next time right after curling. I can just see the rules: 1)The yeller must have no more than 6 of his or her own teeth remaining. 2) The jogger must be unsuspecting. 3) If the jogger does not crap him or herself the yeller will be eliminated (These are the things I think about when I run).

Mind you this all happened with in the first three miles of my jog. The last 5 were fairly acrimonious.