M.O.T.P.

This last Friday The Travel Size Better Half (future) and I decided to have dinner at her house. That afternoon, she asked if I wanted to stop and pick up a movie and maybe a bottle of wine before I came over. We could have a Date Night! I thought why not. So I got off a little early, but had to get on a call for the client. No biggie. After the call I went up stairs and did my pampering (Which consists of showering, shaving, and styling my hair with product). She called me as I was in the shower and not able to answer my phone (for obvious reasons). So I returned her call and she asked me to give her a call when I got to The Video Store. At first I was offended. My taste in movies is exceptional! As I am writing this I thought about including spraying on a couple squirts of Sex Panther as part of my pampering (for all you Anchorman fans. See I have good taste in movies!) before our romantic encounter. Then the reality hit me (and by that I mean she expressed it to me) that my sometimes taste for "Romantic" movies would undoubtedly be sour and could cause some friction. Never good!

So I decided I would be prepared. I got on the The Video Store's Website and clicked on the Romance section (Which is four links below the "Gay/Lesbian" section and just above the Sci-fi section). Listen to what they give me to work with. The Notebook (Somebody please stick a fork in my eye and twist it slowly while poring salt on an open paper cut). Life or Something like it (I would rather be circumsized at the age of 27 with a dull, rusty razor). Titanic (Give me cancer now! Actually Titanic wouldn't be so bad without the whole love story. I love history and that whole scenario is fascinating to me.). Cold Mountain (Hey, Hey, Hey, here something I can work with. Civil War. A love story. Intertwined. How bad could it be.) So I am pumped. I now have a backup. I take off on my adventure to find an appropriate movie for our romantic night together. I get to The Movie Store and start my search (all the while my back up Cold Mountain is waiting patiently). Of course, I call the Better Half (future) to negate any possibility of conflict. I start through the New Release Section. Dukes of Hazard??? Negatory good buddy! Hustle and Flow??? Nah. Lord of War??? Negative. March of the Penguins. I hear a sharp shrill of excitement in my phone that could turn bats away from the city. That is my clue that we will be watching March of the Penguins (M.O.T.P.) tonight. So I grab M.O.T.P. and head to the counter. As I get there I see Cold Mountain. Hey why not. So I pick it up and call The Travel Size Bride-to-be back and inform her I will be renting Cold Mountain as well to which she replies "Maybe we can watch that if we feel like it". Rough Translation: "You'll be watching that by yourself while I am in Denver this week. (I will get to this in a bit)"

So I conclude my purchase and head for the Wine Store. I typically like to make my wine selections at the Taj Mah Liquor in Downtown, but I was strapped for time so I decided to stop by this little neighborhood package store (Right near a Baptist Church. Nice!). I walk in to this little market to find a decent selection of wines. I am looking for a Petite Syrah and the gentleman behind the corner eagerly shows me his selection. I deduce there is an option of a Syrah and a Petite Syrah to which I inquire with my new found connoisseur of wine as to the difference in a Syrah and Petite (I meant taste-wise) to which he responds Petite Syrah grapes are smaller than Syrah grapes. Simply stunning! I realize at that point I could ask him advice about my stock portfolio and would get an equally informed decision. He shows me the Stags "Reap" (See my previous post) and I decide this will be an exceptional choice base on previous experiences with the same vintner of different varietals.

I arrive at the Travel Size One's house to find her practicing the culinary arts. It smells delectable. We have a lovely Mexican Style chicken with Mexican rice and refried beans (Mouth is watering as I reminiscing). She is quite the cook! The dinner is scrumptrulescent and the vino complements it well. After dinner and dishes we decide to commence the viewing of M.O.T.P. (this is where the acronym was birthed).

Let me give some history. At one point in our courtship I informed the Travel Sized Better Half (future) that I wanted an entourage (you know like a hip-hop artist) for pure comedic relief. We were at Moody Gardens at the time and I interjected that a penguin would be cool to have in my entourage. I mean he is already dressed for all formal occasions and chicks dig them. Penguins are just cool! I would also have a Koala Bear, a Panda, a Midget, and my buddy The Accountant (Who'd be in your entourage?).

Spoiler Warning!!!

That being said we get into the movie. You guessed it I determine Penguins are one of the coolest creatures on this planet. The basic premise of this movie is that penguins walk over 70 miles in the Arctic climate to mate and procreate. Let me qualify that. They walk and then sometimes glide on their stomachs over the ice. How freakin' cool would that be if when we were tuckered out we could just drop to our bellies and keep on truckin'! If you ever see a guy on the side of the road that looks like a sea lion floundering about, just keep driving. I'll be ok! Back to our story. So basically they head to this point (The same point every year where there are no markers, there is just some innate sense of direction that leads them there) and find another penguin of the opposite sex. They then do some sort of little mating ritual and there are actually "cat" fights over the men because there are fewer. At this point in the movie my Travel Size Bride-to-be looks at me and says "I know this is supposed to be rated G, but they look like they are getting frisky". I laugh so hard that I miss the next 4 minutes and 25 seconds of the movie. Once I gain control I get back into the movie. The birds, once selection is done, "lay" an egg and then do something that I had no idea happened in any species! The female penguin face the male penguin and they slowly and carefully pass the unhatched egg to the male. The egg is perched on the female's claws and she gently but quickly passes it to the male (if it stays exposed to the Antarctic conditions for very long the egg will not survive. Sad but true). Once the male has the egg on his claws he then basically squats on it covering it with his fur.

This is the part that gets me. The females leave! The just take off! Well they don't just take off. They go back to where the herd came from and procure food while the males stay at "The Place" and huddle together freezing their... never mind... off. This lasts for approximately 120 days. They just stand there in a huddle with little water and no food waiting on the egg to hatch and the females to return to feed the chicks. One of the most amazing parts is that the females arrive back at "The Place" within a day or so of the eggs hatching to provide nourishment. If you ask me it is a good example of God's design. Overall it was a very interesting method. Well except for the part about the dudes getting the shaft. That's never a good thing.

Date night was successful! We had a wonderful time and there is really no tie to my Travel Size Better half (future) into this entry except she is on a flight to Denver for an interview. I know she will do awesome and completely blow them away. This is just my way of realizing how much I miss her and I can't wait to see her smiling face again! Maybe we can have another fun date night!