You better guard that titty...

There is a fascination today with breasts. I am not talking about chicken breast or even women's breasts (this fascination has been around as long as man). I am talking about men's breast. It seems recently that they are the hot topic of conversation. The Sister (non-Travel Size) gave The Father (also non-Travel Size) a book for Christmas titled "Why do Men have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini" (It's actually a good book. Vessy interesting!). Complete side-bar: There is a CD Audio book available on The Books Website. How does someone read that book aloud and not convulsively laugh just after reading the title? My favorite morning syndicated sports talk show was discussing the infamous Superbowl Nipple-gate of yore (ala Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson) and how this year with the Rolling Stones performing there would be no shocking controversy. They did guarantee that we would see Keith Richards' Nipular Region. There are also a plethora of jokes about Mitties, Moobies, Man-titties, and Breasticles. Why is this so? Why are men's' breasts such a focal point of humor? Why are they so humorous? What would we look like with out nipples? I suspect it would be like a car without headlights.

So the Travel Size Better Half (future) and I were driving to The Church the other day and I was doing something in my normal manner that could be construed as annoying or even picking when my sweet Bride-to-be finally gets fed up with my constant bombardment and exclaims "You better guard that titty"!

(Honestly, I had to look up how to spell the word "Titty". I was on the network at The Company's Office and realized (before I flippantly threw the word into Google) that oh I better use an online dictionary. I can see the conversation between the head of HR and myself: HR: So we have notice you have been searching for a certain word. Me: What are you talking about? HR: I think you know! (It hit's me) Me: OH MY GOSH! I swear is for an entry in my blog! I SWEAR! HR: Oh Ok! Well you'll have plenty of time to Blog while you are looking for a new job!)

She then reaches over and torques my areolar region giving me one of the most excruciating pains I have ever had (not saying I didn't deserve it). That's right my friends (and everyone in the free world) a Texas Titty Twister (The Triple "T" or The Three "T"). She has found her equalizer! I am notorious for my picking and badgering. She is much less likely do to so. I guess I have to be careful how far I push her. I would look ridiculous walking around with one nipple. Can't you just see the looks on the kid's face if I were running around the park without a shirt on? "Mommy, why does that man only have one boobie?"

(another random note when you run a spell check on this blog, it tries to suggest you replace titty or nearly any variation with tithe)