The Adventures of Butt Crack Girl and Granola

The Travel Size One and I were at The Deli this past Saturday. It is one of our favorite eateries since we have been on the LGN Diet. This location of The Deli is in more of a liberal part of town right near one of the best universities in the nation. There are all kinds there: Yuppies, Hippies, Snobs, Prof's, and us. I don't know that we really fall into any of these categories, so we'll just refer to ourselves as "Watchers". We both are people watchers by nature and believe me it is hard enough being A.D.D. as it stands. People watching is always more enjoyable in a very diverse crowd. Sometimes being a "Watcher" can be to your disadvantage. This Saturday was one of the prime examples.

We go through the line at The Deli and I grab a table. I find one that is not in the middle of all the traffic, but it's not secluded. Perfect for people watching! We sit down, positioning ourselves so as to be in the prime spot. Let the watching begin! These two girls, I assume are college students based on age, attire, and demeanor, sit down at the table in front of us. They are clearly in the "Hippie" group. One (Granola) is going on and on about something and complaining. I think to myself this will be great fodder for discussion between the Travel Size Bride-to-be and I. I glance out of the side of my eye and to my astonishment, I see the other one's butt crack peering over the waistline of her jeans(Butt Crack Girl or BCG is what she will now be known as)! BCG was wearing a pair of the low cut jeans with a t-shirt that apparently had shrunk in the wash a little too much to her ignorance. Honestly, there was ABSOLUTELY nothing erotic or attractive about this sight. It was more like Ralph the plumber! I subtly point the visible vertical smile to my Travel Size Better half (future) and having seen the color withdraw from my face she asks if I want to move. We find a table that is not nearly as prime for people watching, but we will not be staring down the gun barrel of Mother Nature.

Lunch moves on. I suddenly begin to wonder, "Are other people's butt crack protruding?" I begin to scan the room. Was I missing something? It felt like that scene from Back to the Future 2 when Marty has to pull the insides of his jean pockets out because that's "the style". Am I missing out on the new fad? Should I loosen my belt a little? You know show the World what I got? My Travel Size Love sees someone whom she is vaguely acquainted with through med school sitting at a table with another med student of the opposite sex diverting my attention from my current train of thought. She tells me that she didn't even know they were dating. I thought maybe they were studying together. Back to my mental quandary. She asks me to nonchalantly peek and see if the young lady is wearing an engagement ring. I explain that I am unable to view her left 5 digits and that I will inform her as soon as I am aware. This snaps me back to reality. Here my Travel Size Bride-to-be is wondering if two people are thinking about the spending the rest of their lives together and I am wondering if bare buttocks are the new black. I then realize that this is pure insanity to even consider.

As we walk out of The Deli, I become very self conscientious. Do I have butt crack showing? I gently give a tug to the old belt loops and verify that my waist restraint is snug. Better to be safe than sorry. I will not be the third wheel in the dynamic duo of Butt Crack Girl and Granola. I think I would look silly in spandex.