Sex and Chicken (er Roses)

Every man does it and every woman hates it! If you are a man and you are reading this now, you do it. If you are a woman and you are reading this now, you hate it. Quoting movies. See you thought, "He is making a bold generalization". Then you read further and realized..."He is right!" One of the all-time great quotable movies is "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy".

This is one of those movies that most people (ok guys) watch once and think it is the dumbest movies ever made. They then watch it a second time and realize the comedy rating is about 9000 out of a possible 100. It is practically plotless, but there are so many quotable one liners that every man should watch it at least twice. Clever little quips like "Mm, I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone, come and see how good I look!" or "How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don't wear a bra next time. No, I was talking to you. No, not her. I don't know her name. What is it? Lanolin? La-lanolin, like-- like sheep's wool." or "Hope I'm not disturbing you, but, uh, I saw you from across the party, and, uh, I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breathtaking heinie. I mean, that thing is good. I want to be friends with it."

I realize that if you are reading this and have not seen the movie, you have already tuned out. OK SNAP BACK! There is one more little quote that is probably one of the most underrated quotes of the whole movie. Champ Kind decides to make a run at the new girl Veronica Corningstone played by Christina Applegate. He walks over to her desk and poorly pretends to reach for a pencil and essentially gropes her breaking every H.R. Policy ever written. Corningstone, already on to his shameless attempt, confronts him and ask him if he is trying to touch her breasts. His response is priceless. "What can I say. I like the way you're put together. What do you say we go out on a date. Have some chicken maybe some sex. You know see what happens." Applegate's character then proceeds to reach across the desk feigning the need for a stapler and hits Champ in the one place no man should ever be hit.

You'd think that a swift shot to the mid-section would stop every man from thinking that way. For some reason it doesn't. I am not talking about coping a cheap feel from a co-worker. I am talking about the idea that women are geared the same as men. In our pre-marital class at church it is preached constantly (in a good way). Women are like crock pots and men are like microwaves (Do I really need to explain the analogy?). A woman needs to feel connected to her husband. She needs to know that he is there for her emotionally and that he is her biggest supporter. The number 1 need a husband has is sexual fullfillment. Sexual fullfillment is approximately number 98 on the top 100 needs of a woman. It barely nudges out a lint remover on the list.

The Travel Sized Better Half (Future) and I were talking at lunch the other day about how intimacy for women and men is totally different. She and I were deep in discussion and she said she knew that it would not always be sex and roses and thats when I made the connection blurting out "but never sex and chicken". At first she was a little peeved because I seem to always take a sincere deep moment (like number 3 on the top 100 needs list) and turn it into a movie quotation opportunity. I was serious though. It really made sense. She doesn't have to always have the "Romance Movie" scene but she will always need to feel connected to me. She will need me to be sympathetic, understanding, listening (not fixing), and all of the things that men are typically not by nature. It was a good day. I took a quotation from a crass movie and actually applied it to something that is a good truth. I am just glad it didn' t take a fist to the crotch for me to figure it out.