Bartender's Ball

For those who know me and from the name of my blog you can no doubt tell that I travel... A LOT! Through out those travels I have seen A LOT! Well last night was a new one. The hotel I am staying at in BFE, NY hosted an event that no doubt brings all types from all walks of life. You guessed it! The Bartender's Ball! It is apparently a charity event that allows all of the Bartenders (in NY I assume) to get together raise some money for a good cause and dress up like its Prom.

Think back to your Prom. There were all types. The kid who wore his dad's tux. The guy who wore the pimp tuxedo (including Zorro hat and cane). The guy who wore the tux with matching sneakers and baseball cap. The girl who spent $7,000 dollars on a dress. The girl everyone called a hoochie and stayed true to her hoochie form even in hoochie formal evening attire. The girl that uses Behr Paint and an air brush instead of Cover Girl. Remember those people? Well they all grew up (and out) and moved to NY to become bartenders. I found the whole scene very amusing.

Then I got to thinking. My assumption was that there would be much alcohol imbibed and since the elevator smelled like Ernest Hemingway this morning I am going to stick with that assumption. So here is my thought. If all the bartenders are attending the ball who'd serve the drinks? These are the things I think about. What would it be like for the poor schlep who had to tend bar for a bunch of bartenders? Were they giving him tips or making fun of him because he wasn't important enough to be invited to the bartender’s ball?

What kind of activities did they have? Martini shaking, who can last the longest? Who can uncork a bottle of wine the fastest? Was it more like Tom Cruise in Cocktail where they had bartending poetry? This would be an interesting sub-culture to be a fly on the wall. We all know how bartenders act when they are behind the bar. All cool and collective! Would they be the same way when not? Are there celebrity bartenders (like poker players) that all the bartenders are in awe of but no body outside of the bartending world knows? These are the things I think about.

Fartin' in the Men's Room

Ok, It has been a while since I have blogged and my adoring fans are no doubt spread through out the world (all two of you) so in the spirit of camaraderie I wanted to do something to bring us back together. Blog.

I couldn't think of a better Balboa-like return topic than "breaking wind" in the men's room. Last week was my first week on a new client and I had to fly to their campus in BFE, New York. Literally it is 50 miles from New York City, which is like being in Oklahoma... if you live in Houston. I get to the client and everything goes as usual. I figure out who the players are, who the trouble makers are, and most importantly where the facilities are. You know, water cooler (so I can talk about the Office last week), Coke machine (so I can consume my 2 dozen Diet Cokes a day) and the men's room (so I can... never mind). Now guys, vouch for me here. When you are standing in front of the urinal or seated upon the thrown there tends to be a neccesity to relieve a certain pent up... pressure. Agreed? So I am in the men's room last week and there is a gentleman in the room taking care of the necessary sanitation exercises and doing a fantastic job. As he begins to walk out, I hear him rip one that sounded like a lawn mower about to die. Now my question is, "Is this right?" I mean just because you are in the mens room does this give you the freedom of the fart? I guess it was just an awkward situation because he was working. This would be like me farting at my desk.

On another note, the house I grew up in blew up this weekend. The family living there now was out of town but the dog and the bird were not as fortunate.

The Traveler